Wow. 5 days until California. It has come so fast and in other ways it has felt like forever.
November is a long time to know about an adventure like this and throughout the Fall, Winter, and Spring I thought about it like a thing in the distant future and took each day as it came. As the months grew closer to my departure, some unknowns became clear and still others are soon-to-be known. But I am completely at peace.
So much has happened since October when I visited the Career Development Services at my college and got some information about teaching abroad. I remember sitting in my car while speaking to Emily from Teach Overseas. She had called me that day to give me details about working for the organization, after I sent in an interest form a week prior. I remember thinking that God may be calling me to this and the immediate feeling that it would be something that complimented my passions for teaching and travel, for my faith and for new cultures. I remember crying as she prayed with me at the end of the call and telling Jesus that I needed his direction. I remember writing the answers to the questions on the application and wondering if I was expressing myself accurately or not. I remember my long 2 hour phone interview which was so significant and affirming that I hung up feeling not-anxious but very much at ease.
But I also remember the next week, and feeling an overwhelming anxiety about my future plans...not sure if I was making the "right" choice, not sure if this was the Lord's plan. I called my Dad and my brother Mark asking them to pray with me and for their godly wisdom. What I learned was that, there is no perfect job, no perfect choice. There can be a better choice, but I cannot make a decision that is wrong when I choose to glorify Him in whatever I do.
I think there is a reason for our unrealistic desire for something perfect on this Earth, a desire that points to heaven, to eternity. The Lord "has placed eternity in our hearts" and I have never really understood that until recently. I cannot fathom an everlasting life in heaven but doesn't life at the same time seem like it will never end beyond the physical? Where do we get that idea, when everything around us has a stopping point? Eternity is in our hearts. Every time you desire something to be perfect and are disappointed, let that be your reminder that you were created for something more, a life eternally with Jesus.
From when the thought of going overseas was only a prospect up until this very moment, has been a journey in itself. Raising support, creating this blog, doing Visa paperwork, and setting up an international bank account were all parts of this journey---good and bad included.
My pastor said on Sunday, the decisions you are making right now are as much a part of your story as the next season of your life. So live this season well, write this season well. No matter if this part is good or bad, remember that later on it will just be another story that you tell so live it well, without regrets.
I am glad to write my story for you today, one of anxiety and growth, one of peace and excitement. Thanks for sharing in it with me and walking with me into a new story.
So in the good times and the hard times to come, I'm going to remember that they will become another story to tell and I'll live and write it well.
